Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!

It boggles my mind that, after yet another year of bloodshed, torture and death that people still decide to step up the violence in the world. Yes I am talking about the idiots who have just killed over 200 people in the Gaza Strip. What is the matter with them?! They have murdered innocent people!

But let us start with a bit of background. 1945, the Jews have just come through the worst atrocity their culture has faced, and one of the worst Humanity has ever faced. Everybody was behind the Jewish people as they discovered what appalling lengths the Nazis had gone to execute "the Final Solution". When we only lost 325,000 people to the war, they lost 6 million. 6 million men, women and children snuffed out. It is too terrible to comprehend.

But of course religion rears its ugly head. Apparently, God made a covenant with the Jewish people, and said that Israel should be their holy land, theirs and theirs alone. Well, there's nothing wrong with this, except...

They launch war. They defeat the British soldiers and take over Israel as their own country, expelling the people that had previously called it home. The surrounding countries retaliate, but Israel shrugs off their attacks, using money and weapons that, in their supreme stupidity, have been donated by the Americans and the British. Now, not only do people die needlessly on both sides due to the ongoing, seemingly random strikes against surrounding countries, but also it has turned global as "Islamic" fundamentalists retaliate against Western powers for even allowing Israel to exist.

It's insanity, bred from greed and stupidity. It lost all meaning the moment it became religious. It is hard to determine whether both sides are fighting for territory, political or religious reasons. Many different groups use different excuses, but it is such a needless loss of life, when totalitarian governments kill their own people, when old empires start to flex their muscles in the quite reaches where noone pays them any attention, people die of disease and poverty every day, and Humanity continues to slowly unravel as its component parts turn on each other. And over a piece of land that is only significant because it is mentioned in a HOLY TEXT!

Obviously my knowledge has gaping holes where I have not understood the story fully, but this I can glean: there is a storm brewing in the Middle East, and we haven't even begun to see the terrible extent of the damage it will wreak. We have started something terrible, and good lord we shall certainly pay when it blows up in our face. Madness seems to be engulfing the world. How the hell is it ever going to end?

It's been a while...

Hasn't it just? I haven't posted here in absolutely ages! But, I've been under a lot of pressure to publish again, so here goes...

Christmas has come and gone, and wonderful it was. Of course the days after Christmas are always melancholy, but of course one week later it's New Year's Eve! More celebrating! And even more importantly, a week after THAT it's my birthday!!! 18 years old I will be, wow, never thought I'd make it but there we are. I can no legally get pissed.

I've been thinking though, on a totally unrelated topic, why is it that the Americans celebrate both the days when the British first established their country, and also the day when they managed to expel the British from their country? Rather contradictory I think, especially now as they use us all the time to get in front of their bullets.

Is there a God? Possibly, but religion won't help you find the answer, it has already been sullied with the thoughts of men, who are ultimately flawed. The message here? Distrust your fellow man? Not at all. But sleep with a gun under your pillow just in case. And remember to turn the safety on, you could get a very alarming awakening.

I saw the film "Yes Man" today, and it was rather inspiring. The message I got was that we should live life to the full and be confident and happy in all that you do, and then your life will be happy. That really spoke to me, as living is something I haven't been doing I don't think, but of course what happens on screen and in real life are two totally different things. Things work on screen, they rarely pan out in reality. Still, let's see what 2009 brings.

And I certainly wish you all the best for 2009. There will be dark times, financial crises and wars that make life seem evil, pointless and cruel, but for all those bastards out there striving to make the world a worse place, there are five genuine, good people out there making the world a wonderful place to live. Life is wonderful, the world beautiful, if we look past all the wrongs, there is love and joy in everything, and we should probably look for this more than looking for things that are wrong in our lives. Because, let's face it, we don't have it too bad.

Love to you all and hope your 2009 is as good if not better than this year.

Yet Another Week Gone By

Well it's Friday again, and it's been another unfulfilling week, in the sense that I really don't feel I've accomplished that much, unless you count irritating the senior staff. So I'm a short sighted time waster huh? You'll be short sighted once I've had my way...

Anyway, it's the weekend. My dad said he'd take me for pizza, which should cheer me up. Still single, but relationships are more onerous, especially at this time of year. I've finally got some direction in my life, unlike this blog, which at least gives me something to aim for. Plus I've got the first of three gigs this month on Sunday, so it shouldn't be too shabby.

I have the strange feeling I've used that title before. What with all the negative things I've put on here over the months I wouldn't be surprised. And yet, in the spirit of unfulfillment, I will not check.

There's little more to be said, sorry for such a disappointing entry. I hope next time I'll have something more interesting to say.

We're not so doomed after all

It's getting near to Christmas. Tomorrow will be the 1st of December. Time to get out the tinsel, dress up your gnomes like Santa, and listen to that music that's only acceptable for 25 days of the year.

But in the palarva that surrounds Christmas, the real message is often lost. Sure, it's fun to get a really expensive watch or ironing board cover, but the whole message of love and peace are almost forgotten. These last so much longer than your ordinary Duracell-battery operated video game.

No saying that we shouldn't do the whole present thing, but over the next month why not look deeper inside yourself? You might find that when you're surrounded by your friends, people who are very close to you, you get filled with an emotion that makes you feel powerful, crazy, reckless, confident, brave, and a whole host of other things that we normally just take for granted. It's a marvellous feeling, indescribable, and I don't know why I'm trying in that case but it's a bloody fantastic feeling.

And it's one thing to feel it yourself, but then to see others around you who are obviously feeling the same thing makes my heart sing with joy. In a world where the media paints a portrait of everyone out for themselves, where a person might stab another on a whim, to see people totally oblivious to this as they look into their lover's eyes or as they kick back with friends they've had since time began is fantastic. Hate may dominate, but love always rises above it.

What touches me even more is to see two oldies, in their 70s or older, holding hands, holding each other, seeing that through their whole long lives, throughout wars, troubles and the odd economic depression, their love has not diminished in the slightest, fills me with real hope. it's always a constant, it cannot die and whatever evil befalls Humanity it always raises us from the ashes.

I know it seems like I'm rambling (again) but next time you're feeling blue, like you're alone and noone appreciates or understands you, think, think of all those you hold dear to you, how much they mean to you and how much they love you, and you should feel much better. Because with your friends and loved ones behind you nothing can keep you down.

Motherfros, I've taken up too much of your time, so until next time, peace and love to y'all x

Bosco D'Oliveira - 22nd November 2008

Tonight I went to the Barbican Freestage to see Bosco D'Oliveira (what a cool name!) and his band strutting their stuff. And man could they strut! His band was a Brazillian samba band, the perfect kind of hot stuff you need to relieve the chills of these winter nights. Bosco had a solid line-up consisting of:
Bosco Himself on drums, percussion and vocals
Fabio de Oliveira on drums and percussion
Andy Lafone on bass
Ugo Delmirani on piano
David Bitelli on tenor sax, clarinet and flute
The band started off with a lovely samba tune that really got the crowd going. It took a while to get started; David was playing his flute and to be honest it didn't quite work with the whole samba feel, but once he moved onto his sax things really started to heat up. Bosco and Fabio had a wonderful counterpoint happening with their drums; Fabio's solo in the second number really defined that set. Together they created a strong driving force that was full of rhythm, but they were never overwhelming and the wind player always managed to lead the band. Bosco's singing wasn't up to much, but luckily the sax doubled most of what he sang anyway.
The group featured a couple of guests: one, a tambourine player who had little overall effect on the music, but he certainly added to the spirit of the music, having a good time up on stage. The other was a trumpet player, and boy did he have style. He seemed a bit nonplussed at first during the chorus, but once the solos came about he let rip, and he could sure play that horn. The combination of the sax and trumpet worked very well too, both being rather typical in samba.
The fifth number they did was an old Brazillian tune written, according to Bosco, in 1897. This was by far the most enjoyable piece of the night, as it sounded the most authentic and really got the musicians playing to the best of their abilities. Notably David played the clarinet for this piece, and the low, throaty sounds he achieved worked very well with the piece.
The foyer itself, around where the stage was situated, was packed! There were dozens of people squashed in around the stage, and at least as many standing around and above in the mezzanie. Still goes to show you how popular this sort of stuff is. I suppose a lot of it had to do with the fact it was free, but that's beside the point....
All in all a good night, and a very good deal considering the gig was free!

The Throne

The throne, the toilet, whatever you call it. I believe it should be called the epiphany pot, for reasons I shall now disclose.

How many times have you been sitting on the loo, and you're just taking your time, mulling things over as you let loose? It's so strange that you can be so relaxed on the loo, that you can actually take time to think about life and things of that nature, but at the same time it's rather fulfilling. You can get lost in your thoughts in the private silence of the bathroom, where noone is around to see or bother you. Unless of course someone is hammering away at the door wanting to go so badly they might soil themselves where they stand. At which point you must snap out of your reverie and flush, sad that you must go, but looking forward to your next visit.

The next time you feel stressed out and need a break from life for a bit, go to the loo, and take your time about it! It ain't in no rush so why are you? I'll see you there ;)

Jazz at Ray's

It's been a musical day for me today. Not only have I played with the Morley College Jazz Orchestra (I know, THE Morley College), which was in itself an insane workout, but I visited Ray's Jazz Cafe on Charing Cross Road to watch a Norwegian band led by Froy Aagre (that's her name, I swear).

You would think, from Charing Cross Station, that it would be a fairly simple matter of finding the road of the same name. How wrong you'd be! I managed to arrive in the middle of Trafalgar Square, head down the Strand, "cut" through Covent Garden, and manage to eventually wind my way back up towards the road I was looking for. Only to discover that Charing Cross Road begins BEHIND the Royal Gallery.

A few words were said at this point.

Nevertheless I managed to make it to Ray's at the time I said I would meet my dad, only to discover that he was about half an hour late. More words were said, but I didn't repeat them to him. In any case, when the rather short show began it was worth the aggravation.

It was interesting, a cross between modalism, folk and modern, atonal classical music. It sounds rather crap on paper I know but once the band really started to get going all these wonderful cross-rhythms and melodies started to come out, and it was very entertaining. Indeed, no one musician seemed to be following a score of any kind; they would keep playing until another idea was reached, at which point they would all start playing to this idea. And they all played around each other, in that in more instances the saxophonist (Froy Aagre) seemed to be following the drums than the other way round. Very good stuff.

I know I usually knock that sort of music but seeing it live is always different, and it turned out to be a good waste of half an hour. The coffee wasn't bad either (I remember the last time I visited it I couldn't finish whatever the hell they served me). It was all part of the London Jazz Festival (yes, there is a jazz festival in London! Don't believe me? Check the internet) so if you're looking for something a little different, and more intimate than the raging battle that is the rock gig, then look something up.

What a couple of days

As you probably know I've been ill the last couple of days, but (rejoice and hallelujah!) the dreaded cold has failed to keep me down for long, so I'll be rejoining you tomorrow. Try to hold back the tears of joy.

These last couple of days of quarantine have given me time to think though. Uh-oh I hear you say, he's been on the paracetamol. As a matter of fact I have, but that only accounted for half the trips I made. Well no, I've been thinking about the future.

Isn't it a scary place? On the global stage, the world looks set to turn topsy-turvy, in all but the most literal sense, and aside from the various economic changes that will be made, and political, there are going to be countless little wars that might mark this 21st Century even more bloodthirsty than the previous one. And that's a tall order to beat. Also, the world's rising climate will undoubtably have some sort of effect on us. And we're the lucky generation, and the one following ours, that will have to sort this mess out. And the way our generation seems to be going, boy it's gonna be a close call.

Still, I know that for every hooded twat out there there are likely to be two or three people that will do all they can to save the world from going to pot, so maybe there is hope.

But on a more personal level, we are reaching the end of an era. For seven years we've lived our lives comfortably and usually fairly happily at school, doing well in our studies, not worried because we know that next year, we'll be back here, no matter what happens. We're safe and sound. But not this year. This is it, end game. This year counts. This time last year, we all knew where we were going to be. Not this year. I can't see where I'll be in a year, and I find that terrifying.

Maybe terrifying is a tad extreme. But it is still worrying. All the questions, what if I don't get into a great university? What if my A levels are shite? Will I have to redo the year? Did I leave the gas on? All troubling questions. Enough to lose sleep over sometimes. Or at least enough to dream of blood-drooling monsters chasing you around until you die in a bloody murder.

I think the school lays far too much pressure on us. Sure, we're meant to be uber-intelligent, but does that mean that if we don't achieve all As we're going to be failures in life?! I'd like not to think so, but I've had it drilled into me so much that I can't do anything BUT worry about it. And then that leads me to worry about what I'm going to do AFTER university! Will my degree be worth anything? Will I find a job I enjoy? Why, when I'm 25 years old, am I still living with my fucking parents?!

I'm sure things will work out fine but at the moment my mind is in turmoil about these things, which really doesn't help when you're trying to prepare for exams.

Just thought I'd give you a little insight into my mind.

Peace, y'aaaaaal

Conformists?

There's so much emphasis on being "yourself" nowadays. People pride themselves on being different from everyone else, listening to "unpopular, underground" music that noone's heard of. But as soon as the band goes mainstream, the fans run away claiming they've sold out to the masses.

No they haven't, they've just made it that's all.

What we don't seem to get is that by all being individuals were all conforming to individualism. Of course if you say this you'll be shouted down, but it's true. People still dress the same, listen to the same types of music, just as they did 40 years ago. Nothing's changed people!

And I realise that I listen to different music myself, but mine will never become popular in a million years so I don't have anything to worry about.

So, life is going fan-bloody-tastic. Apart from A levels I can't think of a thing wrong. Apart from the fact I'm ginger, but there's not much I can do about that.

And if someone says I should dye my hair, so help them...

Memorial Sunday

The 11th of November is nearly upon us again, which means tomorrow will be the day when we can reflect on the soldiers (and civillians) who have died protecting our country.

Many nowadays do not fully understand or appreciate this day, or even worse, they couldn't give a damn. They are not proud of being British, what being British means and our illustrious history. It's seen as not politically correct to be patriotic, lest we annoy someone who has had bad dealings with us in the past (which, let's face it, is most countries somewhere along the line).

I will be the first to admit we have done some terrible things in our past, slavery and the extermination of native populaces such as the Aborigines. That is unexcusable. But what people love to overlook is the fact that we have done a many great things as well. Apart from being one of the first countries to start changing its ways about slavery, we have sacrificed so much in order to keep the world out of the hands of evil madmen.

Look at the First World War. Granted, the war was controversial in that it didn't concern us much, except that we had a rivalry with Germany going on. However, as the Kaiser's armies swept through France we had an obligation to go and defend our allies, which we did with great haste, for King and Country and all that. Many hundreds of thousands of ordinary men went to their deaths to make sure that Europe was not consumed by the mighty armies of Germany. They faced terrible conditions and a formidable enemy, but despite all odds managed to defeat Germany with the help of the Russians, sometimes the French and eventually, the Americans.

Look at the Second World War. When Poland was taken over by the Germans, it was not in our interests to liberate it; it had no strategic importance and probably few resources, but nevertheless again we sallied against the enemy, who having crushed the French resistance in weeks, promptly threw us back into the sea. It could have ended there; we could have surrendered, let Hitler's boats come across the Channel unhindered, and become powerful allies with him. Only we didn't. We stood resolutely for 3 years, holding back wave after wave of German attacks with courage and skill that the Germans could not match. Not only did we manage to hold off the might of the Nazi military machine, but we launched a devastating counter attack right back into Europe, which, coupled with the Russian onslaught in the East, toppled the Nazi regime forever, thus saving Europe and much of the world.

Since then we have fought in campaigns where it has not been essential for us to fight. Korea was a foolish war to involve ourselves in, as it was just an anti-Communist American fiasco, but nonetheless we fought with determination and skill that the Americans could never match. We fought in places like the Falklands and Kosovo to save people from invading armies, and succeeded in saving many lives, even if it was not in our interests. We fight today in Afghanistan against a rather bloodthirsty regime, and even if we are fighting a losing battle, even if the war was started with ulterior motives that are just as perverted as the enemy we claim to fight, our troops still fight with a courage and skill that constantly places us above our American allies. The same is true for Iraq, but there I will not condone the government's actions, it is a travesty that we ever went there in the first place.

People say that there is no reason to be proud or patriotic to Britain, but which other country in the last century, when the skies have darkened and cries of help have been raised, fought resolutely to defeat whichever evil was bearing down on us? Which other country has fought battles that are not in their interests but have done so anyway because it is the right thing to do? The Second World War, in my opinion, is the crowning moment of British history, where we stood alone and raised our banners against the tides of the enemy, and refused to take a back-step even though the odds were firmly against us? How can one fail to feel even the slightest bit of emotion when they remember the ultimate sacrifice so many men made in order to stop a tyrant taking over the world?

I'm sorry that I've rambled, but it saddens me to think about what has happened to our society recently, for which these men fought and some died for, and to think that maybe was it in vain? But ultimately, I am here to say that we have very good reason to be proud and patriotic to Britain, and that we should not be afraid to say so. We should all show respect, even if for that one tiny minute of silence we give every year, just to reflect on what past generations have given us, and how we can emulate their example, even in the smallest of ways, to bring Britain back to the proud nation that we were before.

They shall not grow old as we who are left grow old.
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
We will remember them.

Parent's Evening

Woah boy, that was rough. You know when you get an innocent enough looking towel and rub it on urself, only to find you've lost a lot of skin? Well, that was roughly what it was like tonight.

Emdon and Wilko, particularly the former, laid into me about how they don't expect me to reach the grade. It's bad enough hearing this, but they have let me down, I feel, in not being very good teachers, especially the former. I cannot blame it all on them, I am a dunce at musical theory, and I suppose my "playing music for fun" doesn't help much in an exam, but the man has done little to help me except promise to give out fictional sheets of paper that will supposedly secure my A level.

Anyway, it's the past, I won't use him anymore, and when I get an A ill stuff it down his throat so hard he'll be shitting A's for years to come. I guess you could say he's a bit of a A-hole.

Sorry, that was terrible. So, onto better news.

US elections. We're hours away from either rejoicing or committing mass suicide by wandering into the sea. Personally, I don't want to be part of the task force heading into Iran, so I'll be at the head of that mass suicide.

I don't have much else to say, I just needed to vent. Peace to y'all, I hope tomorrow brings more joy to us than today.

Apocalypse!!!

I hope I spelt that right. Anyway, yes, the end of the world. As many of you probably know I'm a huge zombie enthusiast, so much so I keep a live one in my garden. Can you call them "live"?

I'm bored and full of shit, so I'd like to talk about what would happen if we did really face a zombie pandemic.

There's my audience gone, so now I shall continue.

This is all happening because on E4, while I'm away in New York grrr they are showing a show about a zombie uprising in Britain and the only surviviors that we know of are a group of people in the Big Brother house. What follows is a gruesome and bloody battle for survivial against 28 Days Later-esque zombies, which I think makes a very good plot for a regular Big Brother.

I really do wish we could face a zombie incursion. I know that sounds harsh on the millions of people that would inevitably die and join the horde, but God wouldn't it be fun? Get what remaining mates you have left round your house with an assortment of hand-to-hand and maybe even ranged weapons, and go out and meet the threat face-to-face, better than hiding in a small room like they tend to in zombie flicks.

It just gives us an excuse to go out with baseball bats and bash some heads in.

Of course you would most likely be eaten alive before the zombies were all re-dead, but man what a way to go. And if you're lucky, you'll just become one of them.

There are a number of "theories" that says zombies could come, I hope they really work.

Man I love zombies.

Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts!

It seems like only two millenia ago since our great leader George "Wanker" Bush was "voted in" to "run America" as President. How sad it is that this great, verile, Creationist is going to be leaving us towards the beginning of November (about fucking time!)

I have always been a major fan of George Bush. Not because of his sterling foreign and economic policies.

I love him IN SPITE of that.

He has given me many reasons to chuckle over the last 8th of a decade. He has come out with so many outrageously hilarious comments and actions (such as winking at the Queen. Seriously, what the hell???) that his passing will be hard for us all. I personally hope he takes up work as a stand-up comedian when he leaves office. Or, as they call it in the USA, the Governor of Texas.

Below are some classic (true) quotes that His great mouth has uttered over the last 8 years:

"It's clearly a budget. It has a lot of numbers in it." And people wonder why we're in recession.

"I know the Human Being and the Fish can coexist peacefully." I presume he's talking about over-fishing, but it's more likely it's about animal husbandry.

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." OK...

"There's no question that as soon as I was elected, the storn clouds were almost directly overhead." At least he doesn't deny it.

"I have made great decisions in the past. I have made great decisions in the future." George Bush is the only known human to have travelled in time. It really fucked his brain up.

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican." This embodies everything that is wrong in America at present.

"For NASA, space is still a high priority." He's talking about office space, surely... please...

"Public speaking is very easy." A personal favourite.

These are just a small selection of the vast collection of gems. I'm just sad I don't have the time or the patience to write them all, but I'm sure you get the idea. Life will certainly be less amusing, when we have an American President who thinks it's funny to sing "Bomb bomb bomb Iran" on live radio. I'm not American, or Iranian, but personally I'm terrified.

One last, very recent quote to finish off with. "I wish I could just fix the economy by just clicking my fingers. But, obviously, it doesn't work that way." Really? You've spent... what, a month, working that out? Well it looks like he's getting the hang of this a little too late.

In loving memory of George W. Bush, American president, you will be sorely missed, and yet, not.

Let's just hope America makes the right choice in November, or else we will likely be facing very dark times indeed.

Christmas Time, Mistletoe and Wine...

Well, maybe not just yet, but I'm sure the adverts and sales will start all too soon. I do love commercialism.

It's October anyway, in case you didn't know. It's heralded some bad things, and if you don't know what I'm talking about, shame on you! Still, there will probably be things to look forward to in the coming months.

Like New York! Yes I'm off to the Big Apple during the last week of October, to see the wondrous sights of that amazing place. Of course I'll be visiting the jazz clubs, because I'm just that cool. Far more important than, say, looking at big green statues.

Who gave it to them anyway?

The French, that's who, the bastards, helping the American's win the War of Independence - look at what that's got us into! But I won't preach anti-everyone hate, as we should all be banding together, and my hate-filled (yet very rousing) talk will no doubt not help.

Amazingly today, Music was useful. We learnt! We actually learnt! My confidence is somewhat restored! Perhaps school is starting to look up, and I won't fail my A Levels.

Perhaps.

Another benefit (sorry to go back to it) of being in America when I am is that it will be the week preceeding the American Presidential Elections! I am sure I will hear much strong, interesting political debate whilst I am there.

Who am I kidding?

Even if I did, I wouldn't be able to follow it, I am poor at all things political, but I'm rooting for Obama, because anything is better than a president who wants to, in his own words, "Bomb bomb bomb Iran." Stupid man, I hope he chokes on his porridge, daft old bastard.

The hate will stop here, I promise.

You know what I love? Jazz music. Jazz music, and puppies. Get a small dog playing sax and I'll be content for the rest of my life.

1042

I think that's that movie that Jim Carrey did (is that how you spell his name? Did he do that film? Is that even what the film is called?!)

I guess we'll never know, and that's probably for the best. What 1042 IS though is what my email count is up to. Ridiculous. I must be the world's laziest guy, especially when it comes to emails.

Jackpot.

So another day is gone, another day is which it has been affirmed to me that I have little chance of contending with these A levels at the moment, and that I'll have to work my arse off every day from now 'til then (whenever then may be) to get the grades everyone thinks I should.

Score.

Being the world's laziest man doesn't help obviously, but if I can get on top of my work then maybe I can get on top of that insurmountable pile of emails I have waiting for me. Bit of tautology there, at least I think it's tautology. I do English, I really should know.

But as we always do when we don't know something, we'll blame someone else. I'll blame my teachers. It's all their fault, etc etc ramble over.

I got tickets for Any Questions today, the radio version of Question Time, so I'm trying to think of something I can ask these political boffins when they come to my school. Seeing as I know very little about the world of politics and do not wish to make a prat of myself, I think I'll keep me trap shut. Much easier, and laugh along and applaud when everyone else does.

I wonder what I'm having for dinner tonight...

Kavi... what do I say?!

I'm in one of those horrible situations where I have no work to do, but I feel like I should be working. God damn it, I can't relax!

Well, what can I say? Well, the gig on Saturday went great, considering we didn't have a bass player. We sounded pretty tight and the audience loved it (they were all over 70, it was jazz, it was meant to be). No pay unfortunately but oh well, it was fun!

I've been sitting here for about 20 minutes now, pondering things. I do that a lot, ponder. If I'm ever sitting quietly beside you, I'm not bored, I'm just pondering, delving into the unfathomable depths of my mind. It goes quite a way before you actually find anything, so that's probably why I appear comatosed for most of my awake life.

I wrote my first ever jazz piece today, proper one anyway that wasn't for coursework. Hopefully I might be able to do something with it, if everyone agrees with me that it's amazing.

Giggidy giggidy.

Giggidy giggidy goo.

Dammit Fred!

There are very few people on this planet who will understand what just happened.

Even I'm not quite sure.

You know, history's a great thing. We're studying Mussolini at the moment, God what an interesting period. Hitler seemed to have gotten all his filthy tricks off of Mussolini, except whereas Mussolini was generally a nice guy DUCE Hitler was a twat and killed millions of people. End of. That'll be an A on my essay thank you! What? Not enough supporting deatil? Fuck you.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.

I love the world, and some of the world loves me. You'd better....

Well, I've wasted enough of your time, so until this time next millenium...

*Blows raspberry*

Back by popular demand!

I'm back, back to bitch about the world some more. How dya like that, jhenderson??

Anyway, back to life. It's going pretty well actually, had one hell of a weekend that involved seeing my mates, going to a (mad) 18th birthday party and seeing my wonderful girlfriend. School's back in however, so doubtless I'll have much fun doing homework and being told how we're all going to fail. YAY!

I had an interesting exchange with Mrs. Jordan today, who told me my grammar was terrible (I laugh, whilst writing this I spelt grammar wrong) even though I've never had a complaint about it before. But she must be right, because teachers are always right. Hmm...

Bitch.

By the way, a friend of mine is trying to beg for money, so don't listen to him.

Of course, this Saturday there is another party with a different group of friends, but I can't go because of another bloody gig. I'm not even getting paid! This band was a bad idea I think, hasn't paid off at all. But oh well, as long as someone brings a photograph I'll be there in spirit.

Talking of spirits, I've discovered I have a liking for vodka. Lovely stuff. If anyone is thinking of a Christmas present, there we go.

What are you waiting for, go get the damn booze!

A friend of mine came up today complaining of being "cyber-bullied" on Facebook. He said that he was going to report it to the British Athletics Team and get the bully kicked off. I said this was out of order, and that he should report it to the school and have it dealt with there, by getting him kicked off the team is just stooping to his (the bully's) level, but he seems to think revenge is the best way to settle this. What would you reckon is the best compromise for this sort of situation?

Crossdressers are to Skirts as Chavs are to...

Tracksuits! Dear me but do I hate those things! I tend to look down upon a lot of things but I think these take the proverbial biscuit. All these people, sporting them as if they're the latest in fashion, but for God's sake they look ridiculous! They're baggy, dreary, and all too often falling down the weaer's legs. Just the sight of this makes me want to laugh and weep in equal measure.

Having said that, I am guilty of owning a tracksuit. They are terribly useful when one doesn't want to go through the effort of doing up buttons and zips and belts. Unfortunately I was just spotted wearing one outside by someone I know, so I hope they won't judge me too harshly.

Another day at school, another box of stolen pens. To ring true to Kavi's description of "The Music Lot", Emdon's lesson once again held no educational value (I think actually may have lost a few brain cells during that two and a half hours). It may all pay off, who knows?

Looks like even more banks are dying now. According to Emdon, "we're screwed". I disagree; obviously things are bleak at the moment but the press loves to scaremonger- it's how they make a living. As long as we ride out the storm we'll be fine. I mean, look at the Wall Street Crash of 1929; we recovered from that after time. Okay, yes, it can be argued that World War Two came indirectly out of these ashes, but ignoring that, life should be back to normal in the next couple of years. We'll be laughing about it over our over-priced drinks and on the phone as we (illegally) drive our sports cars around the M25.

And if the Germans do start kicking up a fuss, we can go for the hat-trick.

It's that damn cat again...

He always sits there, you know, just judging me... licking himself, judging me. Who the hell is he to judge?

I was walking to Tesco today, Anthony and Simon at my side, and my God but they didn't stop talking about Formula 1! You'd think there'd be very little to talk about, seeing as quite a lot of people drive, it's not that new a phenomenon, but they kept it up for most of the trip. My futile attempts to change the subject did not deflect them and now I'm wondering whether there's more to this F1 malarky than meets the eye.

Orchestra again was the dull spectacle it usually is, conspicuous only by its dullness. I don't know why I let myself get roped into that, I could play the music in my sleep.

Enough music snobbery, I'm brilliant but that's beside the point. There's another trip to the legendary Bocking coming up, but "sadly" I'm preoccupied.

I think I was going to say something else but I've completely forgotten, as I do. So, I shall leave you to whatever it was you were doing before you were compelled to look at this.

Sorry, and thank you.