1042

I think that's that movie that Jim Carrey did (is that how you spell his name? Did he do that film? Is that even what the film is called?!)

I guess we'll never know, and that's probably for the best. What 1042 IS though is what my email count is up to. Ridiculous. I must be the world's laziest guy, especially when it comes to emails.

Jackpot.

So another day is gone, another day is which it has been affirmed to me that I have little chance of contending with these A levels at the moment, and that I'll have to work my arse off every day from now 'til then (whenever then may be) to get the grades everyone thinks I should.

Score.

Being the world's laziest man doesn't help obviously, but if I can get on top of my work then maybe I can get on top of that insurmountable pile of emails I have waiting for me. Bit of tautology there, at least I think it's tautology. I do English, I really should know.

But as we always do when we don't know something, we'll blame someone else. I'll blame my teachers. It's all their fault, etc etc ramble over.

I got tickets for Any Questions today, the radio version of Question Time, so I'm trying to think of something I can ask these political boffins when they come to my school. Seeing as I know very little about the world of politics and do not wish to make a prat of myself, I think I'll keep me trap shut. Much easier, and laugh along and applaud when everyone else does.

I wonder what I'm having for dinner tonight...

Kavi... what do I say?!

I'm in one of those horrible situations where I have no work to do, but I feel like I should be working. God damn it, I can't relax!

Well, what can I say? Well, the gig on Saturday went great, considering we didn't have a bass player. We sounded pretty tight and the audience loved it (they were all over 70, it was jazz, it was meant to be). No pay unfortunately but oh well, it was fun!

I've been sitting here for about 20 minutes now, pondering things. I do that a lot, ponder. If I'm ever sitting quietly beside you, I'm not bored, I'm just pondering, delving into the unfathomable depths of my mind. It goes quite a way before you actually find anything, so that's probably why I appear comatosed for most of my awake life.

I wrote my first ever jazz piece today, proper one anyway that wasn't for coursework. Hopefully I might be able to do something with it, if everyone agrees with me that it's amazing.

Giggidy giggidy.

Giggidy giggidy goo.

Dammit Fred!

There are very few people on this planet who will understand what just happened.

Even I'm not quite sure.

You know, history's a great thing. We're studying Mussolini at the moment, God what an interesting period. Hitler seemed to have gotten all his filthy tricks off of Mussolini, except whereas Mussolini was generally a nice guy DUCE Hitler was a twat and killed millions of people. End of. That'll be an A on my essay thank you! What? Not enough supporting deatil? Fuck you.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.

I love the world, and some of the world loves me. You'd better....

Well, I've wasted enough of your time, so until this time next millenium...

*Blows raspberry*

Back by popular demand!

I'm back, back to bitch about the world some more. How dya like that, jhenderson??

Anyway, back to life. It's going pretty well actually, had one hell of a weekend that involved seeing my mates, going to a (mad) 18th birthday party and seeing my wonderful girlfriend. School's back in however, so doubtless I'll have much fun doing homework and being told how we're all going to fail. YAY!

I had an interesting exchange with Mrs. Jordan today, who told me my grammar was terrible (I laugh, whilst writing this I spelt grammar wrong) even though I've never had a complaint about it before. But she must be right, because teachers are always right. Hmm...

Bitch.

By the way, a friend of mine is trying to beg for money, so don't listen to him.

Of course, this Saturday there is another party with a different group of friends, but I can't go because of another bloody gig. I'm not even getting paid! This band was a bad idea I think, hasn't paid off at all. But oh well, as long as someone brings a photograph I'll be there in spirit.

Talking of spirits, I've discovered I have a liking for vodka. Lovely stuff. If anyone is thinking of a Christmas present, there we go.

What are you waiting for, go get the damn booze!

A friend of mine came up today complaining of being "cyber-bullied" on Facebook. He said that he was going to report it to the British Athletics Team and get the bully kicked off. I said this was out of order, and that he should report it to the school and have it dealt with there, by getting him kicked off the team is just stooping to his (the bully's) level, but he seems to think revenge is the best way to settle this. What would you reckon is the best compromise for this sort of situation?

Crossdressers are to Skirts as Chavs are to...

Tracksuits! Dear me but do I hate those things! I tend to look down upon a lot of things but I think these take the proverbial biscuit. All these people, sporting them as if they're the latest in fashion, but for God's sake they look ridiculous! They're baggy, dreary, and all too often falling down the weaer's legs. Just the sight of this makes me want to laugh and weep in equal measure.

Having said that, I am guilty of owning a tracksuit. They are terribly useful when one doesn't want to go through the effort of doing up buttons and zips and belts. Unfortunately I was just spotted wearing one outside by someone I know, so I hope they won't judge me too harshly.

Another day at school, another box of stolen pens. To ring true to Kavi's description of "The Music Lot", Emdon's lesson once again held no educational value (I think actually may have lost a few brain cells during that two and a half hours). It may all pay off, who knows?

Looks like even more banks are dying now. According to Emdon, "we're screwed". I disagree; obviously things are bleak at the moment but the press loves to scaremonger- it's how they make a living. As long as we ride out the storm we'll be fine. I mean, look at the Wall Street Crash of 1929; we recovered from that after time. Okay, yes, it can be argued that World War Two came indirectly out of these ashes, but ignoring that, life should be back to normal in the next couple of years. We'll be laughing about it over our over-priced drinks and on the phone as we (illegally) drive our sports cars around the M25.

And if the Germans do start kicking up a fuss, we can go for the hat-trick.

It's that damn cat again...

He always sits there, you know, just judging me... licking himself, judging me. Who the hell is he to judge?

I was walking to Tesco today, Anthony and Simon at my side, and my God but they didn't stop talking about Formula 1! You'd think there'd be very little to talk about, seeing as quite a lot of people drive, it's not that new a phenomenon, but they kept it up for most of the trip. My futile attempts to change the subject did not deflect them and now I'm wondering whether there's more to this F1 malarky than meets the eye.

Orchestra again was the dull spectacle it usually is, conspicuous only by its dullness. I don't know why I let myself get roped into that, I could play the music in my sleep.

Enough music snobbery, I'm brilliant but that's beside the point. There's another trip to the legendary Bocking coming up, but "sadly" I'm preoccupied.

I think I was going to say something else but I've completely forgotten, as I do. So, I shall leave you to whatever it was you were doing before you were compelled to look at this.

Sorry, and thank you.