What a couple of days

As you probably know I've been ill the last couple of days, but (rejoice and hallelujah!) the dreaded cold has failed to keep me down for long, so I'll be rejoining you tomorrow. Try to hold back the tears of joy.

These last couple of days of quarantine have given me time to think though. Uh-oh I hear you say, he's been on the paracetamol. As a matter of fact I have, but that only accounted for half the trips I made. Well no, I've been thinking about the future.

Isn't it a scary place? On the global stage, the world looks set to turn topsy-turvy, in all but the most literal sense, and aside from the various economic changes that will be made, and political, there are going to be countless little wars that might mark this 21st Century even more bloodthirsty than the previous one. And that's a tall order to beat. Also, the world's rising climate will undoubtably have some sort of effect on us. And we're the lucky generation, and the one following ours, that will have to sort this mess out. And the way our generation seems to be going, boy it's gonna be a close call.

Still, I know that for every hooded twat out there there are likely to be two or three people that will do all they can to save the world from going to pot, so maybe there is hope.

But on a more personal level, we are reaching the end of an era. For seven years we've lived our lives comfortably and usually fairly happily at school, doing well in our studies, not worried because we know that next year, we'll be back here, no matter what happens. We're safe and sound. But not this year. This is it, end game. This year counts. This time last year, we all knew where we were going to be. Not this year. I can't see where I'll be in a year, and I find that terrifying.

Maybe terrifying is a tad extreme. But it is still worrying. All the questions, what if I don't get into a great university? What if my A levels are shite? Will I have to redo the year? Did I leave the gas on? All troubling questions. Enough to lose sleep over sometimes. Or at least enough to dream of blood-drooling monsters chasing you around until you die in a bloody murder.

I think the school lays far too much pressure on us. Sure, we're meant to be uber-intelligent, but does that mean that if we don't achieve all As we're going to be failures in life?! I'd like not to think so, but I've had it drilled into me so much that I can't do anything BUT worry about it. And then that leads me to worry about what I'm going to do AFTER university! Will my degree be worth anything? Will I find a job I enjoy? Why, when I'm 25 years old, am I still living with my fucking parents?!

I'm sure things will work out fine but at the moment my mind is in turmoil about these things, which really doesn't help when you're trying to prepare for exams.

Just thought I'd give you a little insight into my mind.

Peace, y'aaaaaal