Who Reads These Anymore?

You, yes you, reading this piece of literary genius, you are fortunate enough to gaze on my handiwork and to gasp and marvel at my exquisite grasp of the English language.

So, now that the session of self-aggrandisement (wow, I hear you say) is over, let us move onto more pressing matters.

What can those be? Jade Goody? Who really cares, to be honest? A year ago we were all slating her, now she's a national icon. What for?! Hundreds of unfortunates suffer and die from cancer every year, but they don't make a big deal about it! Sorry to break it to you Jade, but you're not special.

No, the real tragedy in the news (at home at least) is the death of David Cameron's son, who suffered from cerebral palsy, from which the only cure seems to be, sadly, death. However much I hold Cameron in dislike for his political stance, these barriers must be dropped and a humanitarian viewpoint adopted to empathise with the unfortunate family. Politics only serves to divide us, much like religion and the ever-present argument over which is better: McDonalds or KFC (obviously the latter). It is refreshing to see this exemplified in the Commons (how sincere it was is unsure, but to see it is good nonetheless). To the Camerons, and indeed everyone who is feeling grief from the loss of a loved one, I am so sorry.

Tragedies are occuring elsewhere. A third plane has crashed in recent times, this time outside Amsterdam. Only nine people were killed, which is a small mercy for those nine but in the wake of events in America last week it is miracle. If you go in for those sorts of things.

But enough of this doom and gloom. Those of you who read this regularly (you know who you are!) will know I'm a sentimental old fool, preaching love and beauty in all facets of life. I'll spare you the speech this time, don't worry!

To dispell any rumours, I am NOT Jason/Joshua/James/Jeremy and-any-other-numbers-of-names-beginning-with-J Heathcote. The Heathcote Arms is merely a pub, and not a clue as to my identity. If I were Heathcote, I doubt I would admit it though, so this whole text is going to look even for of a facade. But I kid you not ladies and gentlemen. The hunt goes on.

I think I've discovered how Delicieuse has survived this crunch. Simon and I have practically kept it afloat with our regular visits and my fetish for their delightful chocolate cake. It is the best coffee shop in the whole of the East End in my very well-rounded opinion. Persuade everyone you know to patronise that shop! (As in to visit and buy coffee, not demean it. That would be going against everything I believe in. Even if they are French). And especially Tiffany, she needs to know these things!

I am incredibly hungry, so I shall leave you for now! Happy holidays everyone!