Well, I've returned from my long break to the world of blogging. Why you ask? Damned if I know...
I rejoin you at the end of the year, when Christmas has just finished and now people are looking forward to doing some crazy shit for NYE 2009, as the youngsters call it now. Someone told me that they're planning on attending a party where everyone arrives at a certain destination, is blindfolded, packed onto a bus and then driven to a secret location, where the party actually takes place. Can you imagine that happening in London?! I wouldn't like to think where you'd end up after allowing a stranger to blindfold you and drive you somewhere...
So New Year's Resolutions are going to be the hot topic now, as people vainly promise that they'll get fit in the new year, or stop watching telly as often. How many times I've told myself that this year will be different, but I'm sure this year WILL be different... I don't know what I'll promise to do yet, but whatever it is it's going to be very easy. What are your plans, out there in the real world? Even thought about it?
Personally I'm more excited about New Year's Eve. Christmas is all well and good, but it lacks the sheer "get wasted and do weird stuff" spirit that comes with NYE. Not that that's a morally good thing by any stretch of the imagination, but you only live once. Well, unless you're Hindu of course, then you might get another crack at it. ANYWAY, I'd just like to sycophantically wish everyone a great New Year's Eve, and a great new year for that matter, until it gets to February and everyone gives up hope.
I've felt very removed being at university. I still get the news, but not having a television seems to remove me somewhat. I didn't feel very Christmassy at all this year; usually, from November I have the T.V. harping away at me, making me want to buy things and filling me with festive cheer, but not this year. I didn't even hear much of the music, so when it came to Christmas it was quite a shock. The highlight though had to be the Dr. Who episode - what on Earth (and beyond) is going on?! Return of the Time Lords? Exciting stuff. The geek in me revelled in the possibilities of what this could mean. But what it does signify is the end of David Tennant's stint as the Doctor, which is a shame, as I liked him in many different and disturbing ways. So here's to you chap, you will now only ever be remembered as the Doctor, however your career pans out.
Well, I've taken up enough of your time, until the next one, enjoy yourselves irresponsibly.
Saturday, 26 December 2009
Sunday, 2 August 2009
The RULES???
Has anyone else heard of these incredibly sexist blasphemies known as "The Rules"? They are a set of ten guidelines that women should follow in order to meet "Mr. Right" and eventually trap in the unholy bonds of marriage.
You might think, what's so bad about that? In today's society, when men are often seen as sexist pigs who abuse women, who would blame them for wanting to find a good man who will take care of them? It's fair enough.
WRONG!
It is almost as if the two women who write this drivel are trying to turn the tables on men, by being as insensitive and crass as the men they claim to be chasing. Although, as one of their "golden rules" states, "Men chase women."
Bull-hockey!
Men get just as raw a deal in modern society now as women. In countless television shows, mostly American sit-coms, men are portrayed as childish and dopey, whom women constantly turn down and ridicule, whereas the women are beautiful, successful and constantly the attention of dozens of guys, whom they periodically turn down and ridicule. This is proof at least in part that women have some sort of equality in this world. Obviously it is not perfect, but some of the more puritannical women should remember that men do get a raw deal too.
Anyway, I'm still in Scotland. I'm sure you were all pondering my disappearance from society and wondering why I wasn't returning your calls.
It's beautiful here, even if it is a bit Scottish. The people are all very friendly, and the local countryside is simply gorgeous. The view from the house we're in is stunning, looking over the Atlantic and many of the local Scottish islands. Even the weather has been pretty generous, with only a couple of days of rain preventing us from venturing outdoors. We even managed to collect a bucketful of mussels from the beach and eat them in the evening. Delish!
Kate is shaking her head disapprovingly at my rant as I type. I can understand why.
The house where we're staying is the scene of the recent deaths on the trawler in northern Scotland. For a couple of days we could see the upturned hull as it floated in the loch, but now it is gone, taken away by a much larger ship with cranes. Exciting stuff.
Anyway I think that's enough raw material to start off August. Hope you're all having a good holiday, and I'll see you all soon.
You might think, what's so bad about that? In today's society, when men are often seen as sexist pigs who abuse women, who would blame them for wanting to find a good man who will take care of them? It's fair enough.
WRONG!
It is almost as if the two women who write this drivel are trying to turn the tables on men, by being as insensitive and crass as the men they claim to be chasing. Although, as one of their "golden rules" states, "Men chase women."
Bull-hockey!
Men get just as raw a deal in modern society now as women. In countless television shows, mostly American sit-coms, men are portrayed as childish and dopey, whom women constantly turn down and ridicule, whereas the women are beautiful, successful and constantly the attention of dozens of guys, whom they periodically turn down and ridicule. This is proof at least in part that women have some sort of equality in this world. Obviously it is not perfect, but some of the more puritannical women should remember that men do get a raw deal too.
Anyway, I'm still in Scotland. I'm sure you were all pondering my disappearance from society and wondering why I wasn't returning your calls.
It's beautiful here, even if it is a bit Scottish. The people are all very friendly, and the local countryside is simply gorgeous. The view from the house we're in is stunning, looking over the Atlantic and many of the local Scottish islands. Even the weather has been pretty generous, with only a couple of days of rain preventing us from venturing outdoors. We even managed to collect a bucketful of mussels from the beach and eat them in the evening. Delish!
Kate is shaking her head disapprovingly at my rant as I type. I can understand why.
The house where we're staying is the scene of the recent deaths on the trawler in northern Scotland. For a couple of days we could see the upturned hull as it floated in the loch, but now it is gone, taken away by a much larger ship with cranes. Exciting stuff.
Anyway I think that's enough raw material to start off August. Hope you're all having a good holiday, and I'll see you all soon.
Thursday, 16 July 2009
And now for something completely different...
Well, not really. It's going to be more of the same old complaining drivel as usual. In these times of economic downturn and war, change is something people really don't want to see, so I'm not going to upset anyone.
Who would've thought that accents could make such a big difference to a girl being attractive? When I was in Alton Towers, there were plenty of lookers, but then they'd open their mouths and from them would come words so garbled by their strange dialect it made one want to fall to the ground screaming, clutching at one's ears. So, obviously, the Midlands dialect doesn't sit well with me. Maybe they think that my accent is terrible, and they'd like nothing better than to punch me in my southern mouth.
Of course, that is ridiculous, as I have a sublime voice.
Despite that, they would probably not hesitate in attacking anyway.
There's nothing worse than realising that you have more in common with old(er) people than you do with your contemporaries. When I returned my book that I got with the tokens I won for the History prize, Humphrey Lyttleton's autobiography, I ended up having a fairly long chat with Mrs. Adams about the man, not only for his radio work but for his work as a jazz trumpeter, which then led to us talking about the British jazz scene in the 1950's. The worst thing about it is, I actually ENJOYED talking about it! Oh DEAR.
On the plus side, I am now completely prepared to endure a zombie uprising. Everyone to my house and we'll slaughter the fuckers!
It always works in the films.
On the plus side, I managed to shut everyone up about my valve trombone. They all thought it was uncool, but then they saw me playing and thought twice. Yes, I am just that cool.
Don't deny it.
Who would've thought that accents could make such a big difference to a girl being attractive? When I was in Alton Towers, there were plenty of lookers, but then they'd open their mouths and from them would come words so garbled by their strange dialect it made one want to fall to the ground screaming, clutching at one's ears. So, obviously, the Midlands dialect doesn't sit well with me. Maybe they think that my accent is terrible, and they'd like nothing better than to punch me in my southern mouth.
Of course, that is ridiculous, as I have a sublime voice.
Despite that, they would probably not hesitate in attacking anyway.
There's nothing worse than realising that you have more in common with old(er) people than you do with your contemporaries. When I returned my book that I got with the tokens I won for the History prize, Humphrey Lyttleton's autobiography, I ended up having a fairly long chat with Mrs. Adams about the man, not only for his radio work but for his work as a jazz trumpeter, which then led to us talking about the British jazz scene in the 1950's. The worst thing about it is, I actually ENJOYED talking about it! Oh DEAR.
On the plus side, I am now completely prepared to endure a zombie uprising. Everyone to my house and we'll slaughter the fuckers!
It always works in the films.
On the plus side, I managed to shut everyone up about my valve trombone. They all thought it was uncool, but then they saw me playing and thought twice. Yes, I am just that cool.
Don't deny it.
Monday, 29 June 2009
I've been thinking...
Always a dangerous thing to hear me say. It is often followed by some incredibly badly thought out political argument, or a plan which everyone seems to agree with, but in actual fact couldn't give two...
Anyway, why is it that flies have evolved with an incredibly complex array of sensors that help them navigate their way around... and yet they never choose the right bloody window to fly out of! They always go for the ones that are shut or don't even open. Even if they are confused by their sensory thing surely they can feel the breeze emanating from the window barely 3 inches to their left! It's just inconsiderate, that's what it is.
I also noticed that when I have my bag on, and my shadow is played out in front of me, I look like my trousers are hanging low, much like the gangsters wear them. ("Gangsters", they don't know the meaning of the word.) I feel proud.
Well, very little is going on at the moment, which is probably good considering I'm on holiday. I haven't gone to bed before 12 for a few days now, which really can't be doing me much good. What with all this heat, I should be dead by now. I'm going to put it down to sheer pluck that I'm still alive.
I'm getting a valve trombone! "What's that?" I hear you cry. "Who cares?" comes another solitary call from the back of the room. It's basically a trombone but with trumpet valves instead of a slide. See, makes sense doesn't it? It's very exciting news for me anyway.
Doesn't life seem a bit empty without the dread of school hanging over us? I have no direction anymore, except to keep playing trombone and reading, lest my mind go mad! How are you all dealing with the stress of nothingness?
It's a dichotomy that we complain about school when we're there, but lament about its disappearance from our lives. Rather like the weather. We complain when it's hot, we complain when it's cold. Is there a perfect weather condition?
That's like asking if there is a perfect state of mind. Well of course there is. It's called Death. Only in Death can we find true inner peace and be free of conflict, guilt and pride. So, everybody, on the count of 3, do that thing the Japanese soldiers did, with the swords.
Ready?
1...
2...
3...
Why are you still reading this? You should be dead!!!
Anyway, why is it that flies have evolved with an incredibly complex array of sensors that help them navigate their way around... and yet they never choose the right bloody window to fly out of! They always go for the ones that are shut or don't even open. Even if they are confused by their sensory thing surely they can feel the breeze emanating from the window barely 3 inches to their left! It's just inconsiderate, that's what it is.
I also noticed that when I have my bag on, and my shadow is played out in front of me, I look like my trousers are hanging low, much like the gangsters wear them. ("Gangsters", they don't know the meaning of the word.) I feel proud.
Well, very little is going on at the moment, which is probably good considering I'm on holiday. I haven't gone to bed before 12 for a few days now, which really can't be doing me much good. What with all this heat, I should be dead by now. I'm going to put it down to sheer pluck that I'm still alive.
I'm getting a valve trombone! "What's that?" I hear you cry. "Who cares?" comes another solitary call from the back of the room. It's basically a trombone but with trumpet valves instead of a slide. See, makes sense doesn't it? It's very exciting news for me anyway.
Doesn't life seem a bit empty without the dread of school hanging over us? I have no direction anymore, except to keep playing trombone and reading, lest my mind go mad! How are you all dealing with the stress of nothingness?
It's a dichotomy that we complain about school when we're there, but lament about its disappearance from our lives. Rather like the weather. We complain when it's hot, we complain when it's cold. Is there a perfect weather condition?
That's like asking if there is a perfect state of mind. Well of course there is. It's called Death. Only in Death can we find true inner peace and be free of conflict, guilt and pride. So, everybody, on the count of 3, do that thing the Japanese soldiers did, with the swords.
Ready?
1...
2...
3...
Why are you still reading this? You should be dead!!!
Saturday, 27 June 2009
Is he STILL dead?!
I bet that's what a lot of Christians are saying about Jesus as well. Not that I'm comparing Michael Jackson to our Lord Saviour. I bet ol' Jesus could've done a much better moonwalk than Jackson. And on water, too.
So yes, he's dead, but I'm not getting caught up in the massive furore surrounding his death/disappearance. I wasn't around when he was revolutionising pop music and, let's face it, I never knew the man. So let's all move on with our lives; it's not as though his music is forever gone.
What if this is just a cover though, and he's been cryogenically frozen? In 60 years time we could see the miraculous return of Michael Jackson (and probably some radical Christians proporting the return of Jesus.) I bet it's all just a big publicity stunt. Only time will tell.
You know how pets are sometimes buried in their own cemeteries? Do celebrities get their own graveyards? Macabre memorials to the Marx brothers and Arthur Miller; it doesn't bear thinking about.
We're all signed off from school now, which means I'm trying to sign on! It's far more difficult than it looks, as I need a National Insurance number that I'm sure I've never been shown, and I have to go along to regular interviews until I get a job or start university, whichever comes first. I'm willing to bet university.
Still, the summer is looking beautiful isn't it? We're finally getting the heat, and I don't have to wear a jacket out! Watch out ladies, the muscles are coming out. And the legs. Dear God, the legs.....
The summer is good for other reasons too, gentlemen. Get out there and spread the lurrrrve!
Whilst I was writing something the other day, I wrote "remember". If any of you are familiar with the game "Uxbridge English Dictionary", I have a new meaning for "remember": to reattach one's limbs. Not the best ever but it struck me that "remember" should be the opposite to "dismember". Just a thought...
So yes, he's dead, but I'm not getting caught up in the massive furore surrounding his death/disappearance. I wasn't around when he was revolutionising pop music and, let's face it, I never knew the man. So let's all move on with our lives; it's not as though his music is forever gone.
What if this is just a cover though, and he's been cryogenically frozen? In 60 years time we could see the miraculous return of Michael Jackson (and probably some radical Christians proporting the return of Jesus.) I bet it's all just a big publicity stunt. Only time will tell.
You know how pets are sometimes buried in their own cemeteries? Do celebrities get their own graveyards? Macabre memorials to the Marx brothers and Arthur Miller; it doesn't bear thinking about.
We're all signed off from school now, which means I'm trying to sign on! It's far more difficult than it looks, as I need a National Insurance number that I'm sure I've never been shown, and I have to go along to regular interviews until I get a job or start university, whichever comes first. I'm willing to bet university.
Still, the summer is looking beautiful isn't it? We're finally getting the heat, and I don't have to wear a jacket out! Watch out ladies, the muscles are coming out. And the legs. Dear God, the legs.....
The summer is good for other reasons too, gentlemen. Get out there and spread the lurrrrve!
Whilst I was writing something the other day, I wrote "remember". If any of you are familiar with the game "Uxbridge English Dictionary", I have a new meaning for "remember": to reattach one's limbs. Not the best ever but it struck me that "remember" should be the opposite to "dismember". Just a thought...
Thursday, 25 June 2009
Injured at work?
You shouldn't be driving rocket cars at 220 mph!
Anyone else remember that? Hugh Dennis on "Mock the Week", aeons ago? Just me? I need to get out more...
I like Hugh Dennis though. He's not brash and crude like Fankie Boyle, or loud and exciteable like Michael Mackintyre (however you spell his bloody name), but he's got that boyish grin and sharp wit that puts him above the others, I think. Plus, I can do an uncanny impersonation of him, but only if I've had enough to drink.
You know, I really should send back that letter the Student Finances people sent me... I really could do with several thousand pounds next year.
Anyone else looking forward to university as much as I am??? I doubt it, because I'm very excited! I don't even really know what I have to do for War Studies but it's still exciting! plus I'll have more time to do my music and get a job and go out to see the beauty (or not) of London. There really is so much to see, I think you can get the best of it as a student, so that's what I'll bloody well do! I'm going to have to get a bloody well paid job.....
Where is everyone going on holidays this year? I'm going to Scotland (I have to be brave in the face of ticks and midges, and Scotsmen. I hear they're particularly volatile this time of year.) if I survive the wilderness (it's 6 miles to the nearest pub!) I shall have quite a lot of nice pictures to share, as the place we're staying at has a beautiful view of a big lake with mountains and rolling hills, and plenty of sheep so I'm told. Apparently it gets lovely sunsets too, so be prepared for some awe-inspiring shots. If it doesn't rain, an ever-present danger of holidaying in the British Isles.
Anyway, enough of my drivel, see you on my next post.
Anyone else remember that? Hugh Dennis on "Mock the Week", aeons ago? Just me? I need to get out more...
I like Hugh Dennis though. He's not brash and crude like Fankie Boyle, or loud and exciteable like Michael Mackintyre (however you spell his bloody name), but he's got that boyish grin and sharp wit that puts him above the others, I think. Plus, I can do an uncanny impersonation of him, but only if I've had enough to drink.
You know, I really should send back that letter the Student Finances people sent me... I really could do with several thousand pounds next year.
Anyone else looking forward to university as much as I am??? I doubt it, because I'm very excited! I don't even really know what I have to do for War Studies but it's still exciting! plus I'll have more time to do my music and get a job and go out to see the beauty (or not) of London. There really is so much to see, I think you can get the best of it as a student, so that's what I'll bloody well do! I'm going to have to get a bloody well paid job.....
Where is everyone going on holidays this year? I'm going to Scotland (I have to be brave in the face of ticks and midges, and Scotsmen. I hear they're particularly volatile this time of year.) if I survive the wilderness (it's 6 miles to the nearest pub!) I shall have quite a lot of nice pictures to share, as the place we're staying at has a beautiful view of a big lake with mountains and rolling hills, and plenty of sheep so I'm told. Apparently it gets lovely sunsets too, so be prepared for some awe-inspiring shots. If it doesn't rain, an ever-present danger of holidaying in the British Isles.
Anyway, enough of my drivel, see you on my next post.
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
The morning after...
Well, that was one hell of a night! The Ilford/Woodford prom went off with great success, I think. I certainly had fun (as you would have gussed seeing me boogie down on the dancefloor).
To call it dancing would be kind. I might compare it to epilepsy, but that would probably offend someone. Needless to say, it was appalling.
However, the prom was only part of the fun that Kate and I shared in. As a treat for both of us, my dad booked a room at the hotel itself! (It makes me sound like a spoiled child, I know, but this is a very rare thing.) However, when we got there, it turned out I needed my dad's credit card, as he had booked through a third party booking site and as such, the payment had to be made at the hotel itself. Needless to say there was a great furore, resulting in a great deal of phonecalls and exasperation, but eventually we got our room. Not only that, but we got a complementary English Breakfast as way of saying sorry for all the difficulties! Result!
We went for a meal at the local Wetherspoons (I seriously recommend Wetherspoons, decent food for very reasonable prices, great stuff. Burger and beer is only £4.69 for example!) and danced the night away, after a great deal of make-up applying and hair-doing. Kate was getting rather imaptient by the time I'd finished!
Despite all the lovliness I had to rush back home to get to a rehearsal this morning which was quite frankly a waste of time. Having to abandon Kate to do this was definitely not worth it, but it's always good fun to see the guys, but this concert is so badly organised and so shite that I don't see how it can have any positive influence on me at all. I even have to miss the prom on the boat, which I was very much looking forward to...
I've said it before and I'll say it again: WHAT A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS!!!
Oh well, I must'nt complain, things always look bad before the good. And there is a LOT of good coming my way. I don't know how I shall contain my excitement.
Can't you just feel it?
To call it dancing would be kind. I might compare it to epilepsy, but that would probably offend someone. Needless to say, it was appalling.
However, the prom was only part of the fun that Kate and I shared in. As a treat for both of us, my dad booked a room at the hotel itself! (It makes me sound like a spoiled child, I know, but this is a very rare thing.) However, when we got there, it turned out I needed my dad's credit card, as he had booked through a third party booking site and as such, the payment had to be made at the hotel itself. Needless to say there was a great furore, resulting in a great deal of phonecalls and exasperation, but eventually we got our room. Not only that, but we got a complementary English Breakfast as way of saying sorry for all the difficulties! Result!
We went for a meal at the local Wetherspoons (I seriously recommend Wetherspoons, decent food for very reasonable prices, great stuff. Burger and beer is only £4.69 for example!) and danced the night away, after a great deal of make-up applying and hair-doing. Kate was getting rather imaptient by the time I'd finished!
Despite all the lovliness I had to rush back home to get to a rehearsal this morning which was quite frankly a waste of time. Having to abandon Kate to do this was definitely not worth it, but it's always good fun to see the guys, but this concert is so badly organised and so shite that I don't see how it can have any positive influence on me at all. I even have to miss the prom on the boat, which I was very much looking forward to...
I've said it before and I'll say it again: WHAT A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS!!!
Oh well, I must'nt complain, things always look bad before the good. And there is a LOT of good coming my way. I don't know how I shall contain my excitement.
Can't you just feel it?
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